Living Between Art and Multiple Sclerosis
I won’t lie—losing control of my limbs terrified me. And it got even scarier when my vision started acting up. Suddenly, I was seeing double. When I went to the optometrist, the doctor explained that my left eye moved just a split-second slower than my right. What started as a minor delay, though, soon led to facial paralysis, eventually leaving my left eye immobilized. My right eye scrambled to compensate, darting around to focus. But even then, I didn’t think much of it—until a few days later, when I lost all feeling on the right side of my body.
Confusion
For years, I’d been pushing through life at full throttle, running on stress and brushing off the odd symptoms that kept showing up. You could say my body had adapted, though not in the healthiest way. I wasn’t listening to what it was trying to tell me. But one afternoon, I was unable to drive home from work. My parents, who lived nearby, had to come to my rescue. That trip home—normally a quick 20 to 25 minutes—felt endless. Every curve seemed to spin the world around me, churning my stomach.
While I still couldn’t feel anything on the right side, my left side became “confused.” Hot felt cold, soft felt rough, and every sensation was off.
Peace of mind
After rounds of tests—labs, CT scans, MRIs, and a lumbar puncture—and even a trip to the ER where I walked in but couldn’t walk out, I finally had answers. During an eight-day hospital stay in Puerto Rico, a new neurologist came to see me. With the calm of someone announcing the time, he told me, “It’s multiple sclerosis.” That day, July 16, exactly seven years ago, I felt relief for the first time. My mom was with me; I’m not sure what she felt, but I finally had a name for everything I’d been going through.
Since my symptoms didn’t improve quickly, I couldn’t return to work. After more doctor visits and therapy to regain mobility, my neurologist confirmed that stress was making everything worse. My husband and I agreed it would be best to leave my job permanently. Losing that part of my life stung. Despite the stress, I loved my work and interacting with patients.
This painting represents my feelings after the diagnosis of multiple sclerosis.
An Outlet
Then, my second “wing” was clipped. I not only had to leave my job, but driving was no longer an option. Losing that independence hit hard. Suddenly, I was home all day, feeling like I’d go stir-crazy. That’s when art entered my life.
Though I’d never taken an art class, I’d always been drawn to it. With just the supplies I had at home, I started painting. With each brushstroke, I let out my frustrations, and slowly, it felt like new wings were growing. I might not fly as high as I’d like yet, but I’m getting there.
You can learn more about our journey with multiple sclerosis in You don’t look sick; you look very well.
In Spanish: https://artedj.com/cuando-la-esclerosis-multiple-me-corto-las-alas/
